In this transcript, John-Michael discusses why male survivors sometimes don't report their abuse, citing societal beliefs that men cannot be sexually abused and toxic masculinity. He also shares his own difficult experiences reporting his abuse, including having to relive traumatic events when speaking to police officers, judges, and lawyers who were associated with his abusers. John-Michael highlights the psychological impacts of abuse, including questions around sexual orientation, and the pressure survivors face when reporting their abuse, as they may be seen as "fabricators" if they cannot remember all the details of their abuse.
So why do male survivors sometimes not report most of the cases they don't and that's because of our society and their beliefs and our patriarchal ideals that males cannot be sexually abused that's how we've grown up that's what we're told and also about toxic masculinity and masculine anxiety that we should be men and we should fight back we should never allow anyone to take control over us and so and if we do then we must have wanted it and we're weak and that brings up a whole bunch of questions that have other psychological impacts such as what's our sexual orientation what does it mean if we are abused by the same sex and it's really one of those things that's difficult especially for the person each Survivor is unique and they have to do their journey and report at their own time but with males we're constantly berated and I'll tell you my experience is when I have reported it has been very very difficult because again some of my traffickers were police officers and judges so every time I walked in to make a report I had to live through that also lawyers were part of that group so I was constantly NM constantly now dealing with my case where I have to relive and tell details to these people who I associate with that group of people and that makes it really difficult and also then there's the side of varying feeling that it's our fault we allow this to happen or we wanted it to happen I can remember when I was going through the rape kit and it was a male doctor who was doing the test and he made me feel like I created this that I wanted it and I was so insecure and so humiliated that I didn't know what to say or do so it's one of those things that we talk about and we have to deal with and in our society as we've seen where cases have been played out if the um the Survivor is telling details and can't remember all the details then that Survivor is considered a fabricator but if the abuser can't remember all the details that's okay and everybody seems to report over onto the abuser side so if the victim or the Survivor cannot give all details then the case is usually thrown out that is putting so much pressure back on to the Survivor and when we go to court or when we're in a lawyer speaking to him we feel that we're on trial
