Amber discusses the question of why survivors of trauma may feel unhappy or depressed despite having positive things going on in their lives. She explains that trauma can change the chemical makeup of the body and affect the way one processes things. Without actively working through the trauma, it can bubble up and manifest in different ways, including deep depression. She emphasizes the importance of therapy and self-care in actively working through trauma, and encourages survivors to view their journey as a continuous process rather than trying to reach a finish line. She notes that it is normal to have feelings of doubt and sadness, and encourages individuals to take care of themselves and seek support when needed.
I think a big question I hear among survivors and even why I think I asked myself many times early on in my journey is why do I feel sad or depressed or unhappy when I have these good things going on in my life or you know I got the thing that I thought I wanted as far as an outcome whether it's you went to trial you've got that guilty verdict um or you were believed and even if you guys didn't go to court your family supported you you know whatever that may look like to you where you think okay everybody on the outside looking in is gonna think well you know why wouldn't you be happy or why aren't you moving on you know this is a lot deeper than just the incident that happened right you know it really if we go to it in a kind of really technical way it goes down to the chemical makeup of our body as soon as that abuse happens you change your whole body changes your Chemistry changes your brain changes and the way that you're able to process things change so if you're not actively working through that trauma after the fact after that guilty verdict when everything in your life seems perfect and you've compartmentalized all those things you know you're still going to have everything under the surface and what happens to that is it all bubbles up right and it all comes out in different ways it's not necessarily going to come out in a way where you think oh yes this is related to what happened to me it might come out with just anger or you not being able to regulate yourself there's different ways that it can show itself and part of that is just having this deep depression where you feel like I have no idea why I'm sad I have all these reasons to be happy this is why um you know like we've talked about before that therapy and that active self-care is so important because if we're not doing those things all we're doing is letting everything that's under the surface Bubble Up and it's a continuous process you know this is a journey that again it doesn't stop there's no Finish Line really we just keep growing and building upon that so if you try to think of it that way rather than trying to find your Finish Line of when you'll be done with this um it can be a lot easier for you to be able to really take it all in and it not be so overwhelming so think of it as steps and you'll hit another level where you'll have to figure it out and work a little bit on it but each time it gets a little easier right each time you're able to sense it a little more and say oh okay I got a little bit of work to do I need to to focus on that self-care so just remember it's completely normal to have those feelings to have that feeling of doubt and Dread and sadness but all that it means is it's kind of our body's telling us like hey I need you to give me something I need a little care I need a little therapy I need you to talk to someone and let this out so that we're not carrying this off
