In this video, Jess discusses the revictimization that can happen after disclosing our abuse, and how we can protect ourselves.
"The blame and revictimization of disclosure. Sometimes coming forward creates a new dynamic of blame and rape apologists. I always say that the trauma of sexual abuse is absolutely horrible, and the only thing just as awful as the abuse itself is the way that people respond to hearing about the abuse. It can sometimes make you feel powerless and hopeless when people are more upset that you disclosed abuse than the fact that you were abused, and to experience their misaligned anger. This can be a byproduct of rape culture and cultural ideas. Sometimes if you don't talk about it, you have to carry it around inside. And sometimes if you do talk about it, it's all people see, and you're denied the fullness of your humanity. It’s important to remember, however, that we don't need to make ourselves small or invisible for anyone else's comfort ever again. And that if and when we are ready or willing or wanting to disclose abuse, we're also allowed to make it in a way and in discussions that prioritize our safety and our boundaries, because someone abusing us is not our shame or our blame to carry, and it never was."