Self-Care After Abuse

"So, when I was working through trauma and going through the court process, everyone told me to do self-care. My first thought was like, ‘Seriously, self-care?’ So I was really resistant to it because I kept asking myself and others, like, 'How is this going to help what I'm going through? How is doing something so small going to help decrease the stress of this other huge event?' So, I was very resistant, but I realized that self-care is very different for different individuals, and usually when somebody says self-care, at least I think of yoga or meditation, and that doesn't work for me. I think those are perfectly great things to try, and I would encourage people to try different things because you gotta, again, figure out what's right for you.

So for me, you know, walking my dog or playing with my dog was super helpful. Getting involved in some type of activity was also very helpful. Learning about an interest, so diving deep into something that interests you. So, reading books, or YouTube videos, things like that, that will engage you in different ways, and that is a self-care for you.

Also, in terms of self-care, I don't think people talk about this a lot, but physical self-care as well. So, as I mentioned in other videos, I had a lot of health problems when going through my trauma in the trial, and that physical self-care is also important but sometimes very difficult for abuse survivors. So, finding the right doctor, you know, finding the doctor that you're comfortable with, that includes gender, age, things like that. You know, you're allowed to take a friend or family member to your appointments. You can even have them come in the office with you. Obviously if you're comfortable, you can ask the nurse to stay in the exam room with you while the doctor's with you. You can even ask them to keep the door cracked a bit. Some doctors might be a little resistant to that because of HIPAA. If you explain, like, that's necessary for you, then I'm sure that they will comply and/or make accommodations for you.

So again, that self-care looks very different for different people, as well as that physical self-care. So, hopefully this helps within your journey of healing."