Tips on how to prioritize your self-care after disclosing child sexual abuse.

• Be gentle with yourself. You are not going to be able to do everything you hope to do each day. Some days just existing can be its own victory.

• Focus on things that you CAN control. What clothing feels comfortable? Who would be the best person to meet for a coffee date? What is your best outlet for processing?

• Build a pool of resources as you are able. Caring for yourself does not have to be a solo journey. Finding a mental health professional that is a good fit for you can go a long way toward building short-and long-term coping skills. Connecting with loved ones who are compassionate and supportive can also be very helpful and healing.

• Taking moments to enjoy something soothing (ice cream, good music, a professional massage) can be a helpful way to reward yourself for getting through a hard day or hard moment.

• You can only take on so much. If your parents, partner, siblings or other loved ones are having a hard time understanding or coping with what you have been through, let them know that there are local advocacy groups and national hotlines that specialize in the dynamics of sexual violence. You do not have to help everyone while you are trying to help yourself.

• Remember that not everyone deserves access to your story. You can choose the people you want to tell and the people that you don’t want to tell. If someone shows you that they are not going to be helpful or supportive to you, it is not your fault. You can choose what boundaries look like for people who are not supportive and enforce those boundaries.

• When things feel overwhelming, focus on the basics as best as you are able.
  • Eat – Choose foods and drinks that nourish your body and give you energy.
  • Rest – Sleep may not come easily, but taking time to lie down in a dark space without distractions like technology can cue to your brain to recharge..
  • Move – Experiment with types of movement that allow you to physically release tension and focus on deep breathing (such as stretching, walking, yoga, swimming, tai chi, etc.)
  • Medicine – If you have been prescribed medication, try to make it a point to take the medication. It can be hard to remember to take medicine when dealing with large and complex issues, but doing so is one powerful and consistent way to take care of your health.

• Your story has power. You may want to find outlets that create spaces to write or tell your story, as doing so might feel empowering. Or, you may not want to process your story externally. Listen to what your heart and body need and feel free to change your mind as you recovery and heal.

• If possible, consider putting major life decisions on hold. Establishing a life routine that feels safe and is grounded in self care takes significant focus and energy, and may require you avoid making significant life changes or decisions.

• Give yourself time. Healing isn’t linear. You can have one good day followed by a bad week. That does not mean you are doing anything wrong. People react differently to trauma and abuse, and there is no one road map for healing. Be patient with yourself.